So Amanda's schedule is all backwards. It has been for about 2 weeks now. Matt & I are totally exhausted from this. We try to grab naps throughout the day, if we can, but it's not helping. We're all screwed up and I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. It started when we all got sick, and she's still got a pretty congested nose issue going on. No fever, but the NP at our doctor's office thinks it's a case of teething syndrome. I feel bad for the poor little girl. It interferes with nursing, cause she can't breathe. Then we're also dealing with what seems to be nightmares or something. She just suddenly wakes in the night, or even during daytime sleep, screaming her little head off. It's a horrible sound! Most times she's not consolable and it just breaks my heart!

I've missed church so much, and I really miss going. Every week I have the intention of going, and then either I'm sick, Amanda's sick, or I've been up all night with her. There are so many new people at church now, that I kinda feel like a stranger when I *do* get to go! That's one thing I liked about our church so much, when I was the secretary, was that I was involved on the front lines and I knew everyone. Now I feel like the newbie! Speaking of being the secretary...I miss that job soooo much! I told Matt last week that it made me feel needed. Not just at the church, but as a woman. It gave me a different identity from just "mommy". Now I'm back to just "mommy" and feeling lost in the shuffle. Don't get me wrong!! I LOVE being a SAHM!! But I found out that I also love being of need in a different capacity.
Perhaps when Amanda's weaned I will look for a part time job. I just don't think I'll find as much satisfaction in just any part time job, as I found at the church. I was surrounded by upstanding, loving, encouraging men & women every day. If I was having an off day, it was ok, I had a prayer partner near by, ready to lend a hand. I felt more at peace when at the church.
I know all things come to an end. And perhaps there's something else out there for me. I just know that I thoroughly enjoyed my time at the church and hope that I can find something else like that some day, when the timing is right.

Just feeling nostalgic, I guess! And missing good friends!! Well, it's about time for me to get Nathaniel up for school. Just another Monday morning! Blessings!